Reflecting on January 6
Last year, I wrote this reflecting on the insurrection —
When I was in high school, my soccer team would win the “Best Sportsmanship” Award year after year. We were absolutely terrible, and lost almost every game every season. I was also not a stellar model of leadership as a captain, so it always felt like high school’s version of a participation trophy. “Congrats, you tried!”, said the conference, “Maybe next year we’ll give you awards for having impressive stats!”
My dad was always proud of winning those awards as coach though. “Lauren”, Dad would say, “how you lose matters. It says a lot about you girls that you lose so often and still just get back out there, come to practice, take practice seriously, play the game fairly, and accept the results. That’s real character. You know dang well that some of the better players on other teams are terrible losers — they could never do what you do.”
In 2016, I wasn’t the most gracious loser. I was furious that our country picked a white supremacist over a grandma with email issues, and I said so. Often. I dabbled in conspiracy theories about faithless electors, and dreamed that there was a way to stop what was to come.
After the inauguration though, I accepted that Trump won. How could I not? I went to protests (never burned anything down!) and got to work electing progressives on the state and local level. I even helped found a progressive PAC that works to fight antisemitism in my party! I’ve learned more and done more in the past four years than at any point in my civic life — as a result of that tough loss. I took the lessons my dad taught me, and four years later I am getting the metaphorical awards for impressive stats, having built off the foundation of sportsmanship Dad insisted I learn.
What happened yesterday is the equivalent of a team losing a tough game, and then having those players burn the field down, abuse the refs, and harass the other team because they think they should have won, and then claiming afterwards that either “it’s the true will of the fans of the sport” or “actually, your people did it!”.
It is a striking lack of character that is defining Trump’s loss. I’m here to tell folks who feel this way: losing is the worst. It’s not a fun feeling at all. The way some supporters are behaving will ruin the “game” forever however, and I fear it’s intentional. One person is dead, two pipe bombs were found, and countless innocent Congressional staffers were terrorized. Black custodians were the ones picking up the pieces after frankly, a lot of white people decided they wanted to blow up the field and harass Congresspeople.
You can choose to accept the results, and learn from what happened — watch the tape as sports people say. Endorsing or participating in attacks on the Capitol make you just like the better players I played against who couldn’t handle losing. It’s weakness, not strength to refuse to say you got outplayed.
How you lose matters. It’s time for you to accept that it’s over, and start practicing for the next game — at the rate Trump supporters are behaving there might not be one. And that frankly sucks for everyone.
